What on Earth is Six Flags thinking?
The parks’ management, I mean. I’m sure the theme parks don’t do any actual thinking on their own.
Unless there’s something very strange going on.
Actually, I could kind of see a sort of emulated thinking machine, transmitting information with the park patrons as neurons. The rides and gates are circuits within a strange and occult system which has achieved a sort of slow sentience because of the way that the rides and walkways are organized…
But I digress. I was trying to rant about their advertisements.
Six flags has a partnership with Warner Brothers. You can’t get near their parks without seeing costumed actors portraying everyone from Bugs to Daffy. They have signs indicating that you need to be at least as tall as the plywood cutout of the Coyote to ride the lunch-lurching roller coaster. And what do they use as their spokesfigure?
An old bald guy with big glasses and a red bow tie.
Every time I try to picture the meeting that led to that choice of mascots, it just lends more credence to the whole “Sentient Theme Park” theory. Did someone actually sit down and say, “Well, we could use a rabbit who has been a beloved star of multiple cartoons since 1940, or a super-attenuated spastic homunculus who dresses funny. Let’s go with the bald guy!”
In their defense though, that techno theme music they use can get stuck in your head…
Then again, so can shrapnel.