We have a fake plant in our office. It’s kind of annoying, because we can’t get rid of it.
It sort of came with the space. And it seemed like a good idea at the beginning – back before we moved in more people and equipment and just plain stuff. After a while though, it became just another thing to bump into or trip over.
We tried sending it to Property Disposition and were told not to bother. “Nobody,” they said, “would ever buy it.” And they’re probably right. It would just crowd up their warehouse of junk, and heaven knows we can’t have that.
So we’ve started slowly distancing ourselves from the plant. At first, we’d set it outside our door when we opened in the morning, and bring it in when we closed. Then we just stopped bringing it back in.
It started with a little pantomime. The last person out of the office in the evening would close the curtains, turn off the light and step out into the hall. They’d lock the door and then “notice” the plant, sitting there all forlorn and forgotten. But they’ve already locked up, and their keys are in their pocket… Surely it’ll be ok to leave the plant out there overnight! Nobody would steal it, after all…
And (unfortunately) no one has. Yet.
More subtle work ensued: the last person out would adjust the plant, straightening it out so that it presented its best side to the hallway. Coincidentally, this would nudge it an inch or two away from our door every night.
This week, they put new carpeting down in the hall. And when the carpet crew moved back the various hall benches and stuff, they put our potted plant a good ten feet away from our door. As a matter of fact, it was now perilously close to blocking access to one of the courtesy phones in their alcoves outside our door.
This was a great opportunity.
Back in the pre-cellphone days, there used to be three pay phones, one in each of in these alcoves. Now there’s just one pay phone and one “internal calls only” courtesy phone. The middle alcove has a hole in the wall where the phone used to be, but is otherwise empty.
Well…. was otherwise empty.
Now it has a lovely potted plant that mostly conceals the hole in the plaster. Looks like it belongs there…