10.18.03

Jelly Cake (Green)

Posted in 1.0 Wasabi Pea Rating, Grean Tea, Sweet at 10:45 am by Boo

Jelly Cake Green. I’d love to give you a fair and fresh review of these unique snack items but after experiencing Jelly Cake Brown I just could not get the courage to go ahead with tasting the Green counterpart. I did, finally, but it was much more out of obligation to my (three) loyal readers and to the whole essence of snack food review than it was to eat and experience Jelly Cake Green. Having eaten Jelly Cake Brown, I knew I would have to deal with that weird pasty sorta gummi not quite old Jell-o texture and that is a huge quasi insurmountable thing. At least with the Brown I did not have any prior knowledge of the…errrmmm…singular texture experience of these snacks so I had a much more open mind about the whole thing. In fact, Wednesday when TheMan and I were sitting around at that snacky munchie stage of the night I looked at the Jelly Cake (which had been sitting on our coffee table for weeks now) and said to him:

boo: Well, we could try the gooey cake.
TheMan: Or I could just watch you eat it.
boo: Hrrmph, that’d be no fun. I’d rather have some company when I delve into the misery that is gooey cake.
TheMan: Yeah, but I don’t want to have any.
boo: Neither do I. [pause] I’ll do the review later then.

So neither one of us went into the whole Jelly Cake Green experience with an open mind or neutral opinion so I will try to be as unbiased as I can with this review.

The Green variety of Jelly Cake was a little less slimy than the Brown version and that made it slightly less disconcerting to eat. It may be because the Green cake had been sitting around the house for quite some time before we bolstered ourselves enough to try it or it may just be naturally less slick. The texture still has that unsettling pasty firm but not quite gum drop quality to it and no matter how many pieces I ate, I got all squidgy every time I bit into one.

Which leads me to an interesting point. I ate more than half of the cake. Willingly. And enjoyed it in a “Eeeyyyyatch, this is disturbingly creepy the way that it gooshes around in my mouth but it’s sorta sweet and has a nice flavor” way. I’d give Jelly Cake a 3 or 4 rating if it weren’t so bizarrely not firm yet solid with a hint of slick. Put Jelly Cake into a hard candy and bingo, instant likeability. Even Jelly Cake in taffy form would work, heck I’d even foist it on my friends and relatives without any hesitation if it just weren’t so body convulsingly wrong and texturally foreign when you bit into it.

If you can get past the texture, it is actually nicely sweet and earthy. I’m not 100% certain it was green tea but if you have a habit of chewing your tea leaves than you probably have hit upon the flavor of Jelly Cake Green. Surprisingly, for me, I liked the flavor and I am not overly fond of green tea flavored things. It did remind me of something, but I could never come up with what exactly (despite eating most of the cake). The best I could compare it too was that it was more like eating something generically green and leafy than it was drinking water that had been steeped in tea leaves.

TheMan, on the other hand, ate one square centimeter bit just so I would not be alone and immediately started rummaging for anything else to eat to get rid of the taste. To him, Jelly Cake Green tastes “the way the stuff stuck to the bottom of the lawn mower smells” and I’d have to say, yeah that might be a good description. He also said he liked the Green flavor better than the Brown flavor but only in the way that he would like getting his nails pulled off one by one better than getting his eyeballs poked out with a hot stick. TheMan does not so much like Jelly Cake.

All in all, Jelly Cake Green gets points for the flavor but the flavor pay off is just not worth having to go through the Jelly Cake texture experience. Even more disturbing, to me, was the fact that I kept going back for more even though every piece made me do that weird nasty food involuntary head shiver thing. I can’t say I understand what’s going on there, other than perhaps they add some sort of addictive crack substance that makes you think “Well, how bad could the next piece be? Maybe I’ll get used to it and then it wont be that nasty.” In all honesty, I can’t really give Jelly Cake Green more than a

Rating of 1 Wasabi Pea out of a possible 5. Just remember with this one; lots of alcohol is a very good thing.

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